Press the Pause Button
Do you find yourself rushing from task to task, event to event, meeting to meeting? Who today is not super -charged, stressed -out, worn-out, burnt-out.Now more than ever it seems to be the mantra of our manic lives. Apparently 52% of people say stress keeps them up at night. And I would guess since October 95 percent of Jews are freaked out and on steroids with stress!
Not only is ongoing stress bad for our health, it also affects our relationships, our capacity to be effective and of course our well-being. Even when we are aware that we are running too fast or simply running on empty we find it hard to stop. We tell ourselves that we just don’t have time to get it all done and who has time to take a break?
Well, God had time to take a break when He looked at the product of six days of exertion. Let’s rest, He said, and let’s call it Shabbat. He taught Moshe the same principle: while transmitting the Torah to him God inserted pauses which we call Parasha-breaks. Asks the commentator Rashi on the first verse of the Torah reading next week (Vayikra-Leviticus 1:1): “What was the purposes of these breaks? To give Moses a breathing space to reflect between each portion of the Bible and between each matter. How much more so for an ordinary person who learns from another.”
In an age of information overload and a never ending stream of online emails, phone messages and Instagrams, WhatsApp group messages pinging incessantly,the need to stop and ponder is even more critical. Learning and wisdom lie in our ability to listen and think, to understand the nature and consequences of what we are receiving.
Pausing is not only essential for good learning or education, but also a useful life tool. It can shape fine decision-making as it can refine our actions. Ernest Yebo puts is you should “consult…understand the consequences, know the benefit, and take a second look at it again for it takes a little mistake to cause a big ‘had I only known’ and a deep regret.’’
Oh if only all those angry keyboard warriors would halt before hating.
When we have a halt in the midst of our busy-ness, we clear our minds and act more carefully and mindfully. We surface and see the faces of others and smell the roses. Too often I leave that break far too late and speak impulsively or send off that mail too rashly. I have found taking a short walk or a power-pause (or nap) refreshes and clarifies. It’s been said “When you are in doubt, pause…when angry, pause… when tired, pause…when stressed, pause and when you pause, pray”.
I welcome the opportunity to pray which Jewish practise nudges me towards. The Mincha or afternoon prayer which comes in the middle of the day was perceptively introduced by the rabbis for just that purpose. It makes you interrupt whatever you are doing and re-focus. The very word Mincha – מנחה – has as its root the concept of נח – repose or rest. Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav used to urge his followers to make quiet moments every day: Take a half hour or better an hour, to be alone, dead to the world and alive only to yourself.
The fabled existential psychologist (of the late 20th Century) Rollo May extended the importance of a temporary interruption: Human freedom, he said, “involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response towards which we throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from self-awareness”.
In a time when presidents send out imprudent tweets, when leaders idly make nuclear threats when fine ( and not so fine leaders)are incapable of a secure and reasonable cease-fire, the potency of the pause is as poignant as it is urgent.
It's time to press the Pause Button. As writer Lori Deschene suggest: “Practise the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly”.
A pause in time can save a lot of pain and regret. So let’s practise the great Shabbat survival technique or simply hum the words of Simon and Garfunkel:
“Slow down you move too fast. You’ve got to make the morning last”
Rabbi Ralph